An Elephant

There’s an elephant in the room. It’s metaphorical, so is the room come to think of it, but I suppose it must nonetheless be addressed. I appeared in the tabloids last week, emerging from an Oasis rehearsal with my readers on, like a lost pensioner looking for his bus in an unfamiliar neighbourhood.

It’s quite funny because I think I’m going to get away with this one. The Sun said it was keyboard player Mike Rowe, basically because he wears glasses and I’m wearing some in the picture. I always thought Superman wearing specs for a disguise was about the dumbest thing in the story but here I am prolonging my own anonymity with the very same trick. Liam went online and did a few tweets saying that it was me but still there were exchanges taking place in some of the internet’s more vibrant comments sections debating whether or not I’m really me. People have been forwarding them to me all week, this last one made me laugh and then sit there dead-faced in solemn consideration of our fleeting existence on this rock.

“No, Madden is younger.” Thanks Andrew Clayton.

Damn it all though Andrew Clayton, Madden was younger. He isn’t now though. His eyes have given up, his hair is thinning, his beard is greying, he has crow’s feet and frown lines, stiff hips and temperamental knees.

Madden is older, Andrew Clayton.

Still Andrew Clayton, to be fair to Madden he is the youngest person in that photo, whether he looks it or not.

A lot of discussion online seems to have centered around how people have aged, almost as though the people in this particular band have been irresponsible to let themselves get older than 50. As is always the case what you criticise about other people often says more about you than them. For instance, if you’re a fan of a band whose first album came out in 1994 and you’re surprised that they look like they’re in their fifties that says more about you than them. It says you’re a fucking moron.

Anyway, I’m joining Oasis on their summer tour playing keyboards. Sorry if I’ve kept anyone in the dark about it but you sort of have to. Sorry to anybody who’d rather see any of their former keyboard players on stage instead of me. I’ve thought it through and I understand your point but I’ve decided I care more about my career than your feelings on this one. I want to do it more than I want you to like me doing it.

Obviously I’m not talking about you. You read my substack, you’re happy to know that I can pay the bills this year. You’re thrilled to know that the Oasis tour left a little hole in the September/October period that can accommodate an Earlies gig. At the Hackney Church. In London.

I’m very grateful to have been asked to do this job and I’m looking forward to the summer.

That was the elephant in the room, he’s still here but now he’s sat down.

Over and Over

In the summer of 2005 we were spending a lot of time trying to become producers. I think JM could’ve pulled it off as he has the kind of contemplative seriousness that people feel reassured by when investing serious sums of money. Giles and me were inherently silly people who were always pissed, we had an oafish demeanour that lacked any of the mystique or artistry people were looking for. We had a meeting in London scheduled once with a production management company, I can’t remember what they were called but they were serious people with serious clients. I met Giles at Manchester to get the train down to London and we had a pint at the station. We then looked at the train timetable and decided we’d take the Midland Mainline service via Sheffield. It took an hour and a half longer than the regular Virgin West Coast line but it served Bitburger which we thought would make for a relaxed, friendly afternoon. We were completely smashed when we got to London and all I can really remember is sitting in a London office trying to stifle burps and desperately needing a piss whilst Giles berated a middle aged music professional. He repeatedly told the woman that we were “cheap as fuck” and could make albums for “fuck all,” admirable facts but not the kind of thing that somebody who operates on commission is necessarily swayed by. I just wanted to leave and get another drink, I was sure my career as a producer would take off on another day. I didn’t even think we’d blown it on this particular meeting, I must’ve thought the woman was delighted that two charming Northern cads with a whiff of booze about them had come to liven up her stuffy London office. It didn’t cross my mind that we might’ve made an error.

That one didn’t work out but we talked to a number of production managers and somehow a lady did start to help us out that summer. I think it only lasted for a few weeks and a couple of jobs, she realised we were plonkers and cut the cord with all the speed and efficiency she could muster. Before she ditched us though she explored some classic music industry synergy by getting us to do a remix for a band she managed called Hot Chip. It was their next single Over and Over, it would become a pop sensation over the course of the next year but at this point we just thought of it as a catchy little ditty from the comedy band who all played Microkorgs in a line. Do you want to hear our remix? I’ve no business publishing it here but you can’t find it online, it’s almost as though everyone thinks it’s shit. It’s not shit, it’s hardly a work of staggering genius but it deserves to be heard.

Hot Chip- Over and Over (Earlies remix)

We had a certain arrogance whenever we remixed other bands, we always stripped pretty much all of their playing off their record and turned it into an Earlies jam. I can remember us thinking that this one sounded fairly similar to Hot Chip’s version but was “just better.” I did a lot of the recording in my Mum and Dad’s end bedroom using stuff I’d recently purchased, like a Moogerfooger Ring Modulator and a Roland SH2. The pentatonic synth lines were inspired by a tune we’d seen Aberfeldy playing live that’d made us all cry out with joy. Richard’s playing was tight and funky, Nicky did a great little dirty brass arrangement, JM’s sample work on the intro is phenomenal. We all thought it was great, better than the original. The world didn’t agree and neither did Hot Chip. I think I understand now why their version is superior but I’m still glad to be able to listen to this timeless little document of our arrogance. We had something there but nobody really wanted it.

Let Me Roll It

In February Dan and me had a day in Abbey Road. I went down in the middle of Doves rehearsals and slept on Dan’s couch with his rabbit Yoshi parked next to my head. We were recording for an American country artist called Ryan Hurd who’d written a song about meeting Paul McCartney called Paul, which he wanted to record a live Abbey Road version of. On first listen I was skeptical at best, it was all a bit “on the nose” for me, but Ryan turned out to be a lovely chap with an impressive array of talents and he charmed us completely. We were joined by Max Clilverd on guitar and Joe Stoddart on bass who were both of premiership ability. Halfway through the day Ryan and his producer came to ask us if we’d be happy to record a couple of covers for fun, we said yes but then he asked if we’d be comfortable recording Champagne Supernova. Dan thankfully said he wouldn’t at all be comfortable with that, it’d be a bad look considering what I’m up to now if I’d been recording country Oasis covers two months ago so I’m glad Dan piped in there. They were respectful, generally cool chaps so they suggested some Beatles related covers. They were really happy to be doing that, they were thrilled to be sat at the beating heart of British pop music culture, breathing in the same room as the Beatles once had. It’s hard not to feel like that myself whenever I’m in Abbey Road, even when you’re in the less celebrated Studio 3, which nobody ever bangs on about to the same extent as studio 2, you’re in the room where Revolver was made. One of the covers we did was Let Me Roll It by Wings, Dan sent it me yesterday and I have to day I like how it’s turned out. We sound good, Dan sounds fantastic in particular and Max does some fairly breathtaking guitar work. I know the world didn’t need anybody to make this Wings cover but I really enjoyed making it and it makes me smile to listen to it again. Ryan is a pretty big deal in the country world with over a billion streams, so he doesn’t need my good wishes but I’m compelled to offer them nonetheless, he’s a lovely guy and I hope he continues to do well. Here’s Let Me Roll It.